Children Go Where I Send Thee

How shall I send thee?
Well I’m gonna send thee one by one
One for the little bitty baby was born, born
born in Bethlehem. 

Tis the season

Today – we are about 20 days away from Christmas and what a ride this year has been. Hurricanes, floods, moving, selling, relocating, new job… etc. Can some of you relate?

I am learning that the older I get, God is broadening my mind and belief system (along with my faith.)

To take steps of faith, we usually have to take a risk. Generally leaving comfort or something behind. Sometimes we have to start over.

And sometimes, we realize that God is calling us to the very place we started. I am seeing that my many moves over the last decade have been to clear me of wrong thinking, and to show me new ways to walk with him. Now, he's bringing me back home.

God is big. I have always believed that. There is more to God then we know or perceive, but we have to be willing to ask Him to show us.

I did. It was somewhere between the year 2003 and 2004 that I asked God ‘Isn’t there more to you? Is this all?’ 'This' being the things I had been taught and were seeing. 'This' being people who were not exhibiting faith or love. 'This' being the fact that surely, if there is a creator that created the Earth, sun, moon, and stars shouldn’t there be more to expect? More than going to church on Sunday? More than just believing what we hear or have been taught.

Isn’t there more?

Well, he answered me. In a big way. (By the way, the answer is yes.) He took us to New York with our heads spinning so fast we didn’t know which end was up. And there, I began my journey of seeing and learning 'more.' I saw people depend on the Lord for their well being, their rent, their jobs, their needs. I also saw him deliver or answer the same people. I saw spiritual gifts used and exercised that I had previously been taught but not seen. I saw the Holy Spirit come in and make time stand still.

I saw more.

Then, just like that, he moved us again… Back to Knoxville. To bring new knowledge back with us and to bring humility to us. When you learn new things, it’s best not to try to shove it down people’s throat. (I still apologize to those we did.)

With age comes wisdom. Hopefully we have more now. It was a great season where I laughed in the office more than I ever had in my life, and God brought many blessings and opportunities to serve with our gifts and talents. And I saw more.

Then, boom, we are moved to Asheville and God opens the door for Joe to begin his career as a Worship Leader. We will always be grateful for the opportunity to grow with that church – and love those people deeply. He brought close friends that love us unconditionally - to this day. He also gave us the miracle of our son, and an amazing group of people that prayed him into existence. I saw miracles. I saw the Holy Spirit speak straight through our pastor's mom to me.  She is a model of a godly woman that is sweet, and strong in the spirit. And she could pray fight. Something we should all learn. And, I saw more.

Then, you guessed it … another move. This time to the beach. It was a great time to serve with great people. I learned so much about studying the Bible in a totally new way. A great teacher lead us in a study of Genesis that expanded my view. God started increasing my knowledge of using my spiritual gifts in new ways – especially as a stay at home mom… I learned more.

And would you believe it, after two short years…We are back in Tennessee. Still in transition mode, and reeling a bit from that hurricane.

Why am I going through all this. Well it's to say 'ask for more'. Take risks with God. There is more – so much more than you know. He takes you places to increase your knowledge of him. He brings seasoned Christians along your path to teach you more. He demonstrates love, and lets you love in ways you didn’t know existed.

This season, I want to take what I’ve learned and tell others. God gave me a verse right before we moved back. Mark 5:19b “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you."

So to begin... I simply want you to know there is more. We will never be able to grasp or comprehend who God is. Why should we? Do I want a creator that is on my playing field, or one that is more than I can imagine? 

I am going for the one who is above all we can imagine. I am going for the one who is able to do more than we can ask or think. He already has, and I'm only half way through life. (Ephesians 3:20)

So are you ready to ask for more? You'll never know where He may send you - but I say go.

Get Up and Go!

I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to get online and read other people's stories and wish they were my own. I don't want to subscribe to someone else's newsletter or blog to see how they do so much. I am not that girl - the one balancing 400 things with a goal to finish the next project. I wish I were. I wish I could balance a lot, like starting a business, designing something, becoming a top executive, a speaker, a blogger, or an author.
But I can't.
Not right now.
RIght now, I am a mommy; and honestly, I feel like I'm not doing so great at that...
I'm tired, I'm old. I have great respect for and don't know how people do it with more than one child.
During the last few years (almost 3 to be exact) I have had to realize just exactly how much I am NOT a 'Betty Crocker' cook or a 'Better Homes & Gardens' clean house girl. I'm doing good if I can do laundry once a week. (and that's if I remember to even get the wet clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer...)
I'm not exercising or walking anymore because it is too cold outside.
My child is having a hard time adjusting to the new change of location, and I feel like I have failed at helping him with it.
I have misplaced All of my winter coats (had to buy a new one because it's so cold...)
I have cried several times and just want to lay in bed. 
So today, while laying in bed, with Joseph coloring at my side (and on the sheets I might add...) I was reading Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson. I was on day 30 (which I have been on for 2 weeks,) and I read the words 'Abide in me.' (John 15:7)
To put it mildly, this has been a difficult season - selling our house, the hurricane, a new city, etc. I've become 'down trodden' for lack of a a better word. So reading that today was like a breath of fresh air. I realized once again that I need to stay in the word and pray. Doing both are the ticket to refreshment during a dry season; (or really any season.)
During my reading, I suddenly remembered the new book I just got,'Girl, Wash Your Face" by Rachel Hollis. So I grabbed it and began reading. This book is truly amazing, and is just the kick in the pants I need to 'Get up and Go!' 
God did not give us the spirit of timidity, (or fear,) but of power, love and of a sound mind.(2 Tim 1:7.) God didn't put us here to sit idly by in our self pity and timidity. His word says he put a spirit of power in us. 
This led me to think, 'Why in the world am I sitting around sulking?' I have the power of God within me to do the very thing he has called me to do. And upon reading the verse that precedes this one in 2 Timothy (1:6,) Paul says to fan into flame the gift of God which is in you. So the verse about timidity is in actuality saying to not be timid with the gifts God has given you, but to fan them into flame. To go for them. How? In His power. 
If we truly get to the bottom of this thing, we realize that this is not about us. God placed us here with a purpose he designed for us to do - before we were ever born (Psalm 139:16.)
If we sit and focus on the surrounding circumstances, it is easy to get caught up in the what ifs, the whys, the why nots... BUT, if we get back to Jesus, back in the word, back into the purpose he has for us, then we can walk forward in assuredness and confidence of the gifts he has given us, and in the power of his might - not sit in timidity. 
Did God bring us back to Tennessee? Yes he did. Does he have a purpose? Yes he does. And I praise him that He not only uses His word, but brings us tools that others have written to help us get up off our catookas  and fulfill our purpose.
To sum this up - stay in the word. Pray. He's there and listening and ready to talk to you. He's ready to guide you in the path that is best for your life. (Psalm 25:4)
And... Find tools to help you walk in your faith. 
I am recommending 2 tools today...
1. 'Girl, Wash Your Face' by Rachel Hollis.
2. 'Draw the Circle' by Mark Batterson (Read The Circle Maker by him too - it's an awesome resource for prayer.)
None of us have it all together. God has given us each other a support system on the earth. It's time we come together, be there for each other, love, support, check on, encourage and listen to each other.
Basically, it's time to get off our tail and do what God has called us to do!
Amen.

I Gave In…

Tonight is one of those nights that I feel like I failed as a mom. I keep trying to remind myself that we are in a transition period. However, in the heat of the moment, all I can think is… mom fail.

Story:
We were at target for milk. It was a simple thing, milk. We stopped by the Halloween section to see the blow up creatures when low and behold we accidentally passed the toy section.

Did I mention that there was no nap today?
Did I mention that our family (which we are so grateful for) graciously took us in while we are trying to sell our house?
Did I mention that the house was damaged in the hurricane?
Did I mention that the people helping to clean it up did more damage?
Did I mention that my husband has started a new career, plus a new church?

Ok, I’m whining and asking questions for dramatic effect.
I am also trying to make myself feel better.

Anyway, we go through toys, which happened to be near the very back of the store and I knew it was time to go. It was 6 pm and someone was getting testy.  So I said ‘lets go’… Well, he wanted a box of toys that was $16. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but given the state of things, and the fact that we still have house payments on the house, I thought ‘get a small toy for a dollar or two.’

To make a long story short… We had 3 small tantrums and I knew I was going to have to carry him to the front of the store screaming, and buy the milk, screaming and go out to the car, screaming.

I didn’t want to go through the fight, so I gave in and bought a box of dinosaurs. (Not that he already has about 300 of those.)

So as I was leaving, feeling bad about giving in, feeling bad about spending money unnecessarily - most likely spoiling a child - and being a failure as a ‘mom,’ I tried to see a ‘godly explanation’ for the moment.

Then I realized, there isn’t one. Life is hard sometimes. This has turned out to be a trial that caught me off guard. I also realized something else…

God’s mercies are new every morning.

I am trying to hold onto him and he knows it. I don’t know the outcome and that’s hard for me. He’s faithful and has us in a safe place with people who love us. We have all of our possessions with us here; and, we are on a new adventure.

Moral of the story? God is doing a work that seems to be exciting, though hard.
And I want to encourage you.
Give yourself a break. God knows when we are trying to do right even though things around us are circling out of our control.
It’s ok.

The good news is that I finally had some alone time with him and just sat in his word- and he spoke.
He is working it out.

Funny enough, the scripture I’m quoting is out of the book of Lamentations:

Lamentations 3:22-23  (ESV)
22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Thank God for his mercies, and his grace. I need it.

Let Go My Soul

Let Go My Soul and Trust in Him

So today, I was once again looking at our subdivision page on Facebook for updates on our house, and kept seeing pics of waist deep water on streets nearby.  I saw the bravery of some of our neighbors who were walking around trying to help people if they were in the houses of the waist high water. However, seeing these pictures and not being there to see the damage on our house has been disturbing to say the least.

I am still amazed that God allowed us to move to Knoxville literally a week before the hurricane. He also took my cousin and her family to the other side of the world to adopt their baby boy.  I am grateful that we moved here, we’re safe, and have all our possessions – save one… The house.

Yes, it’s a big possession. Yes we were about to close the end of this month. Yes, I am focusing on the ‘what ifs’ of this large, needing-to-be-paid-for possession.

We went to church, and God spoke in a big way – about scattering seed. He gave me peace about what our calling truly is – people. And I left excited and ready to go… Then I decided to check Facebook again, and there was a video of a home where the ceiling fell in, and the house flooded.

My mind immediately went back to the big possession that we cannot see or return to for sometime. We don’t know if it flooded or didn’t.  I put Facebook away and decided I wanted to hear some Jesus music so I turned on the Christian radio station. 

With my heart burdened for everything going on in Wilmington, my friends without power, friends with trees on both of their cars, people stuck upstairs in their house because the bottom is full of water – I needed to hear from the Lord.

So the second I turned on the radio, I heard these words of a song… ‘Let go my soul and trust in Him, the waves and wind still know His name….” Isn’t this referencing the very scripture He gave me earlier? He knows how to speak to our hearts, He knows when to speak, and He comes at the perfect time - to remind us - He is there, and the winds and waves obey Him. (Matthew 8:27)

What choice do I have? I can sit, worry and imagine dark and terrible outcomes; or I can let go my soul and trust in Him.  I know we think of the storms of life being hard situations we face… Just never thought it would be a literal ‘storm.’

So, what now? I urge you to keep praying for those who are there. Power is out, it’s hot, no fridge, no stove, no air condition … Water everywhere and more to come. Pray for those who left, pray for their homes, their families, their possessions. Pray for the rain to stop. Pray that looters stay away. Pray for the money that will be needed to repair and rebuild. Pray for the first responders that have been working endless hours to rescue and help any way they can. Pray for the leaders of the communities, as they have to make major decisions in the next few days. Pray for those who can’t return home and have to spend money and time away from home, from work, living in hotels, family homes, and friends houses.

Pray. God answers prayers. We need His comfort, peace and His presence. 

Psalm 34 & 37

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Pray for the people in the paths of the hurricanes.

Even the winds and the waves obey Him.

Mark4:35-41

Matthew 8:23-27

I was just talking to a friend leaving Wilmington due to the hurricane. She has her husband, 4 kids and a few possessions, heading inland to family. Some of her family decided to stay behind to weather the storm.

I asked her how she was and she said she was very concerned. Many people aren’t sure if they will have a home to return to. Some may not make it through. I told her I had been praying for protection for everyone.

I told her I was also praying for the storm to turn and she said…’Even the winds and the waves obey Him.’

I, once again, was stopped in my tracks. This person leaving her home and her possessions behind quoted a verse about a storm. And I realized I needed to pray this very scripture: About a storm--that Jesus calmed--and amazed the disciples. (Matt 8:27) Why should we not do the same things the disciples did? Go to Jesus and ask.

This is the time to hit our knees and ask for help. God is big. He is great. I think we need to pray to a ‘Great God.’ Pray for protection for everyone. Pray for those staying and those going. Pray for their homes and possessions. Pray for Him to turn the storm, or calm it.

The winds and the waves obey His voice. 

I don’t know what the outcome will be, but I believe in the power of prayer. I believe in the God who created the universe. I believe in His Son that calmed the storm. So I am praying and I ask you to join me. I ask you to ask your friends and family to pray for all of those on the coasts. Pray for all those in the path of the hurricanes.

Father,

Your Son calmed the storm. Your word tells us that men, who are just like us, were in the very presence of Jesus during a terrible storm, they woke Him up asking Him to save them.

He then rebuked the winds and the waves – and calmed the storm.

The disciples stood there amazed.

God – amaze us. You calm the wind and the waves. Nature obeys Your voice. Your voice shakes the desert, it breaks the cedars as stated in psalm 29.

We come to You in agreement, God, asking You to calm the storm. God turn the storm, let it not even enter the coast. Turn it Father, protect our loved ones and our homes. Give us peace.

I believe You are the God of miracles; we need a miracle.

In Your name, and in Your Son’s name, the name of Jesus.

Amen.

Run The Race

I just heard from a dear, sweet friend that is about to head abroad to her calling. She has known her calling and has run toward that calling not looking back.  Hearing from her and seeing her zest and excitement at this new adventure has made me think.

Do I run with that kind of zeal? Do I press on?

I feel like age and life have left me a little more timid, a little more fearful and a little more cautious.

Where are the days of throwing caution to the wind and running?

I think they were before the baby and the dog.

And while I’m on this subject, should I not remember the incredible miracle that brought this baby to us the way it did?

Sorry for all of the questions – but sometimes I think we need to reevaluate our ‘zeal.’

Yes, I feel we are more zealous the younger we are. When we are leaving high school, college, vocational school, etc., we are like the stallions standing behind the gates at the Kentucky Derby; waiting for the gates to swing open to take off, bounding toward our goal.

Now, I sometimes feel a little like my puppy standing in the doorway on a rainy day, not wanting to get his feet wet. But to see his reaction once he comes back in from the rain – he’s ecstatic, running around, wiping his feet- and thankful he went.

So – where do we stand?

Somewhere in between stallion and rainy day puppy.  

I want to be the stallion – braced and ready to go. The stallion is who he is due to his training, his breaking, his thoroughbred, his build, his care, and his jockey. I think its time to realize we are bred by the ultimate ‘breeder’. We are given gifts and talents that are special and unique to each one of us. We have been raised in such a way to prepare us for every step we take. 

So why not run? Why hesitate? Why doubt? (Yes, we are human, but we have a maker that is greater, stronger and mightier than anything.) He can move mountains. His voice can shatter the cedars of Lebanon. (Psalm 29:5) Since we are discussing mountains, I’d like to point out that he has given us the ability to move mountains – with only a mustard seed of faith. (Matthew 17:20)

So am I ready to shoot out of the gate? Are you?

Let us run with perseverance the race that has been marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1)

It’s time.

Write Your Story

Hebrews 11:8

Today,
I am having a hard time. We are making a change. Another one. After a long line of changes, God is taking us in a new direction, and it's hard.
I understand a little of what military families go through, and in a way, we are serving in a godly army.

Sometimes, you are moved to a new position. Sometimes you are moved to a new location. And you follow.

God gave me several verses over the past few years, and I have wondered what they meant. I am seeing some of the fruition of the verses, but I don't believe I'll fully understand until we are there.

Verse 1
John 17:18  'I am sending them into the world.'

This verse stopped me in my tracks and sent a wave through me. As I have stated before, I believe that when you are reading scripture, God will magnify certain verses to you, to speak to you.
We had been studying Jesus' prayer in John 17, so I decided to read through the entire prayer.

I knew in my spirit that God was up to something, and it scared me a little. Joe and I have been on many journeys, and most of them consisted of some sort of staff position in the church. The only one that didn't was our move to New York. That's the only other time that we sensed this kind of faith walk.

Some walks take you into the unknown, and all you know to do is go. Sometimes it's a specific calling to a specific ministry, other times, it's a location. It could be the calling of your career, the college you will attend, your spouse. There are many things we can be called to, and some things are obvious, This one is not.

Going back to the verse, I knew God was up to something, just not sure what. As time progressed, I received a 2nd verse.

Verse 2
John 12:26 'Anyone who wants to serve me must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me.'

So, beware when reading the book of John, or really any gospel - because when God shows you how Jesus and his disciples work, He calls us to similar work.

So, upon reading this verse, I had a feeling God was going to move us. I do want to state that God is everywhere. So don't think he's only where we are going. He is calling us to follow a specific work He is doing there. And that requires us to follow Him to a particular location.

I could site many verses about going where you don't know where you are going (look at the story of Abraham), but I believe that is not needed in this moment.

Then, Ryan Ortego preached a sermon on the burning bush. I only had the Message bible with me, and he quoted from it. So that got my attention. We were in the fostering process, so I thought God was speaking about that. The speaker said that Moses stopped to pay attention to the bush. He said in these moments when something stops us, to ask more questions. So, I began asking, seeking and knocking as Matthew 7:7 tells us. Joe was fasting and seeking, too. We were then bombarded with where in the world is God calling us.

We sought out several places - all resulting in 'No.' Not understanding, and a little exasperated with the seeking - we went to Knoxville for a family reunion. Isn't it like Gods to hit you in those moment? When you finally just give it a rest? The searching, the seeking, the crying out? Sometimes I think we get so caught up in this we forget to breath.

We were driving through the hills of Knoxville, when a spark hit me. I prayed about it and mentioned it to Joe later. He had the same spark.

I again could give many details of God answering fleeces and confirming and speaking - but I am going to let you trust that He did.

Then we knew. He's calling us back to do a work that we aren't completely sure of yet. We have some ideas, but we know this is a Go. I can tell you, this has been serious kind of a faith walk.

Why do I tell you all of this? I believe some of you are struggling with decisions and are not sure of an answer. I believe God is telling you to go and you are hesitating because all the t's are not crossed and the i's are not dotted.

I believe God is calling some of you to big things that scare you and it's hard to take the first step.
I believe God is asking you to move, or do something new and you are afraid of what people will say and think, especially when you don't have the answers they want to hear.

When God calls, Go. Yes, it's hard. Yes, people question. Yes, people discourage. Stay around those people who will encourage you and pray.

I tell you all of this because walking with God is a journey. It's an adventure and it's not about the destination - its about the call. It's about willing hearts that will Go when He asks. It's not all about you. It's about the people God is using you to reach. We only have one life to live and I want to live it going. I want to encourage others to do the same.

If you are struggling with a decision - read Joshua. Take a step, don't be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Scripture:
John 17 - Jesus' Prayer
Exodus 3 - Burning Bush / Moses
Genesis 12:1-4; Hebrews 11:8 - Call of Abraham
Joshua 1-6, 10 & 24 - Story of Joshua & Israelites Taking possession of the Promised Land