Today,
I feel the need to reach out to you moms. Times like this are just plain unnerving. And kids catch everything (I’m talking colds, the flu, etc.) … This morning I felt pulled in 5,000 directions. There were needs everywhere, Joseph was crying, the dogs were barking, I realized something I hadn’t done yesterday and all I wanted to do was clean out the dishes! After losing it on my husband who I couldn’t get a hold of because he was recording something at work, I finally sat down with God.
I finally prayed. Do you know what happened? Two things: 1. I calmed down and had true peace. 2. I realized that at this moment, my most important job is Joseph. This is when tension is higher. Joe and I both are highly involved at church, yet he is the one who is on staff. He oversees modern worship and student ministry so he has to be there. We run into this every time there is a Sunday morning or Wednesday night Joseph is sick. I hope I don’t sound like I’m complaining. I just want you all to know I understand times that you can be conflicted as a mom.
It’s hard to be at home sometimes and it’s hard to be working. I want you to know I am grateful to have Joseph beyond anything I can say. I prayed for this child most of my life and marriage. He is the miracle we waited on for years. The thing is, I did a lot of ‘things’ while waiting on this child and life is totally different with children. I am struggling. I see needs I can meet but I can’t because one of us needs to be home. I know I can take Joseph with me, but there is a virus floating around and I am becoming uncomfortable with having him out.
What I am saying – that I heard today in my time with God – is that we all can only do what we can do. We can’t put pressure on ourselves to be the hero or the answer – we just need to be obedient with what God gives us to do. And honestly, even in these crazy times, we need to minister with our gifts – when we can, how we can. Sometimes I think we try to minister in ways that aren’t what God has asked of us. Then we feel guilty when we can’t fulfill the need or don’t want to. It’s time to give ourselves a break.
First, I realized God has given me an incredible son I (and Joe) need to take care of. Wisdom is part of that call and we need to be wise. Second, God has given me a computer I can utilize to minister through writing or talking (yes – God has given me the gift of a mouth.) Third, we have two dogs, eight chickens, eleven fish and a partridge in a pear tree. We have a home.
With all of that being said - we can only do what we can do. We are in a pandemic. The most important thing for all of us is to find that time with God – even if it’s 5:00 AM or midnight. Ask him what he wants you to do today and ask for grace to do it. We all can’t do everything; But we can go to Jesus.
So – all the moms out there – give yourself grace. Sanitize, feed your children, clothe them, watch an extra movie, cuddle and walk out of the room when it’s too much to handle.
God has this. We don’t have to carry it. This is one time we can’t spread ourselves too thin. My prayer is that we all receive extra grace from God to do this. And I can’t help but wonder what’s on the other side of this virus… Revival?
2 Corinthians 12:9 English Standard Version (ESV)
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
