Be Real.

I think, sometimes as ‘Christians’ we feel we have to act, dress, and talk like a 'Christian.' I have seen it so many times in the churches I’ve been in. We carry our Bible with a cute Bible cover, our journal and pen on Sunday morning . We wear longer skirts and appropriate church clothes. We speak with religious vocabulary using those words we think make us sound Christian. We tell everyone we are fine and keep a smile on our face.

Well – I’m not keeping myself out of that category. I think we feel that if we are going through something hard, we have to keep up the face to make sure we are showing that God is capable. I need you to hear me on this. God is capable of handling everything in our lives. But do we have to keep a happy face on when the world is crashing in? Why do we feel that way? Is it truth? No. Sometimes, we are not 'ok.' Sometimes, we can’t believe we are having to walk through a hard circumstance.

For most of you who know me, you know my husband and I have been walking the road of infertility for years. I mean years – I mean this is over a 10 year prayer (we’ve been married 15 years this year.) This past week, I encountered a particularly fearful part of this journey. There are some roads I have never wanted to walk – and to continue on this journey – I have to walk one of these. Needless to say, I found out right before church. I had to suck it up, hide my feelings and go in the door acting like everything is ok. The problem was… I could not stop crying. Every song about faith hit a new nerve, and I was uncontrolled in my emotion. How do I believe He can answer this prayer – when He has chosen not to for years? How can I sing praises modeling my adoration, when I’m not sure He will ever answer yes? How do I live life with joy when facing a heartache that comes back every month? (Not to mention the shots, the pills, the blood tests I have to go through monthly…)

I know I’m not alone. I know there are many people who face many issues. I have had several friends with breast cancer survive and walk triumphantly. I have family members with epilepsy that can never miss a pill. I have a mother who is now permanently paralyzed on one side – living in a nursing home the rest of her days. Things happen. How do you live through it?

A dear friend of mine met with me this week. She had seen my attempt to hide all emotion. She was trying to think of words to comfort me, but said she knew nothing could be said to make me feel better. As she was thinking of how to help me, the Lord brought Naomi to her mind. For the entire story – read the book of Ruth from the Bible – it’s amazing. But for now, we’ll stick to the point. My friend said she read through Ruth 1 and thought of all the roads Naomi had walked.

Due to a famine, Naomi, her husband and two sons left their hometown and moved to a foreign town (which can be exciting). While she was working through this life adjustment – her husband died (now she faces devastation). She raised the boys (as a single mom). They grew up and both got married (once again joy has returned.) Only to have both of the sons die. (Once again devastation.) She realized she needed to move back home (facing humiliation of coming back a widow, and childless.) She tried to send the daughter-in-laws back to their hometown (another feeling of loss.) One went back to her home town. The other, Ruth, stayed with Naomi.

I don’t know about you – but that’s a lot of emotional roller coasting. Up and down on the sea of life. This woman, who had been through so much decided to name herself Mara– (meaning bitter.) Ruth 1:20-21 says “Don’t call me Naomi,” she responded. “Instead, call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. ²¹ I went away full, but the Lord has brought me home empty. Why call me Naomi when the Lord has caused me to suffer and the Almighty has sent such tragedy upon me?”

My question is – do you ever feel like Naomi? Do you want to say - 'just call me bitter?' Hear my heart on this. There are moments in life that take your very breath away – and I’m not talking about looking out over the ocean… There are moments that numb you, grieve you, humiliate you, betray you – and you are left with the momentary question – where are you God and why did you let this happen?

Well – you aren't alone. Upon thinking about my conversation with my friend – she wanted me to communicate that people are real – and we have real feelings. Let’s get over ourselves as trying to act like the perfect Christian, and realize we are real people. We have emotions – we hurt. She and I were talking about how to pray through the problems without being disrespectful… and I thought of David. Have you read the psalms? That man had more emotional ups and down than anyone. He cried out to God and asked him why he abandoned him. He was praising one minute, and crying out in fear – then realizing God would protect, and would take care. He cried out in anguish – in guilt – in very emotion we could ever think to have – and yet he was referenced to, by God, as a man after God’s own heart. Acts 13:22 ‘After removing Saul, he made David their king. God testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.'

David did some of the worst possible things a person can do - and yet was considered a man after God’s own heart. Why? I believe it’s because he chose to go back to God every time. God I don’t understand, but I’m coming back to you. God I don’t really trust that you have this – but I’m coming back to you. God, I don’t know why you let this happen – but I’m coming back to you.

Yes – you hurt – and it’s ok to hurt. Yes it sucks. It’s ok to admit it. But whatever you do – go back to Him. He will work it out. He will do great and marvelous things through you. Hold on to Him, and go back to Him.

One more person that cried out to God comes to my mind. Jesus. At the cross, after being beaten and nailed to it – struggling to breath – Jesus cried out scripture to His father. The scripture he had grown up learning – just like us. He used the words of David… My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?’ (Psalm 22:1; Matthew 27:46.)

If you think we have a savior that doesn't understand. You are wrong. Jesus walked through life scorned, rejected, betrayed by his closest companions. Then, He suffered and died a horrible death.

What is the good news? Death could not hold Him. He arose so we can have reconciliation with God. He laid the bridge of communication with his death and resurrection. We can talk to God. It’s ok to not understand. Its ok to ‘not act like’ everything is ok. It’s ok to walk into church, and tell your friends that you need prayer – or help.

We have all been there. Instead of pretending the way to be a strong Christian is to suck it up and put on a face, I dare you to be real. How are we going to let people know that we are walking a real road? How do we let them know that life hurts – and that you do get through, but it’s not all going to be roses and sunshine

I challenge you - be real – because there is a sister out there that is facing insurmountable difficulties, and she needs to know how real Christians hold on to God. Sometimes, it may seem like you are holding onto a bull by horns, and sometimes it may be on the floor of your bedroom crying out. But hold on to Him.

By the way – at the end of Naomi’s story – Ruth got married, had a son and Naomi got to help raise that precious boy. Obed. And if you decide to keep researching that scripture – you’ll see that that little boy grew up to be father to Jesse, who just happened to be father to David – which just happened to be the line that God decided to bring Jesus from.

Talk about a great ending to a story of a lady who had the guts to say… call me Mara – because sometimes life is tough.