So many decisions. My brain hurts… I have been running around trying to decide, to call and cancel, to go where I need to be, stay where I need to be. To be.
I am so tired of decisions. I don’t want to make another choice.So when I finally hit bottom (again…) I realize… God has it. He makes the decisions for us if we let Him. He has a plan laid out if we relax and trust. For me, it’s trying to figure out when to relax. It’s so hard to leave mom at the hospital – knowing she’s sick, but there is only so much ‘I’ can do. The Lord has to bring me -once again- to the end of myself to let Him work.
I don’t know how this is going to turn out. I don’t know where to go next, or what to do. I just want Him to take over and do this. I can’t anymore. Sometimes – we hear about God and how He carries us. We want that, but do we truly want that? We can’t be carried by Him, until we are at the end of ourselves or our situation. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so ‘hard headed’ as to need these situations to bring me to the end of myself.
My encouragement to you: God will answer, He will carry, He will lead… We just have to let Him. Take it from me. Let Him lead you now, before you absolutely have nowhere to turn. Or, would you experience God – as He is – if we weren’t in the ship, in the storm, seeing Him walk on the water? (Matthew 14:22-33) Would we ask Him to come to us if we weren’t at the end of ourselves? Oh, that we would.Ask and it shall be given you, seek and you will find, knock, and the door will be opened unto you. This is truth. Are you willing to believe? To ask Him and dare to watch Him work? He will. Let go. Let Him.
I have my own issues that get me down but Kevy forwarded this to me today, it's from a missionary elsewhere that is struggling with crazy issues and this was the close of his letter. It had alot of wisdom and helped me with perspective. I hope it is encouraging for you as well!
ReplyDelete"At one point in the book, David describes how the Lord sometimes
breaks us to cause us to remain near him. David as a shepherd had one
particularly wayward sheep. Finally he had to break its leg and
carry it on his shoulders until it healed. After that time, the sheep
never left his side.
I don’t know if I have been sufficiently humbled but I hope that this
experience has been enough to cause me to yearn for God’s presence
each and every moment not only in times of strength.
For all of you my friends, supporters, and colleagues, I pray that you
will be safe and strong. But if it will help you to cry out to
Yahweh, then I pray for you a small amount of danger and difficulty.
That’s a harsh thing to say, but I believe it is biblical.
2Co 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my
power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the
more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on
me.
2Co 12:10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in
insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am
weak, then I am strong."
I love you dearly and i'm always thinking of you all!